She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize