i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
