I must be too annoying 4 u.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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