if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
