stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
