Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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