OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
