Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
