You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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