1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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