Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
