so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
