Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
