Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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