I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize