all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Text me some of your sweat
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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