So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize