By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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