just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
