The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
