You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i believe in u and ur pee
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
