i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
