fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
