So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
