puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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