she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
As shirtless as possible
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
