i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
