do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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