He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
