dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
