I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
