yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize