Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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