The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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