I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
