i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
