so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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