I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Couch. On fire.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize