we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
