Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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