Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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