kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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