you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
