He asked me if I "almost moaned"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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