Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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