yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
