I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
