I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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