dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
