What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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