can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
