love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
