last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
