i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
