I wish my penis had an off switch
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
