I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
