Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
