OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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