ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
