I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
