I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
