I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Reggie can tackle my bush.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
