okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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