I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
