She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize