I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
